It doesn't feel like taking God's name in vain when I say "oh, Dio mio!" partly because it's Italian, and partly I don't think I'm doing it in vain. Addressing God with an exclamation seems like a natural response to what's happening in my life right now.
Summer has been wonderful. I've been working at Texas Roadhouse, which sucks but everything else has been kind of perfect. Except for predictable dissapointments, like the fact that I didn't get as much done as I wanted to on Greek composition and research for my thesis. (But I still have about a week and a half left, right?) I've also been tutoring Latin, making new friends and generally having the time of my life, as is becoming a habit, it seems.
It's just so odd. To be a senior in college, talking about grad school options as if I had a clue what I'm doing or as if I actually believe I'm ready to be that grown-up - to move out of state permanently, to pay my own phone bill, to be completely independent financially, to have a degree, to survive grad school and "pick up" somewhere or other a couple of the modern languages requisite for good scholarship in Classics, eventually to become a "doctor." I took the GRE and while I'm a little bit dissapointed with my Verbal score, overall it didn't completely suck and I may have a chance at getting what I want - which is to study and travel all my life as I have been these past few years and maybe, you know, to have babies (not children and definitely not teenagers, but maybe a couple of babies).
But holy crap. When did the joy of independence in a part-time job and a driver's permit get replaced with this? With writing samples and statements of purpose - as if I had a statement to make about purpose (I'm not Rick Warren, thank you) - and real decisions about where I want to live. It sounds like the college application process all over again, but it's so much more stressful this time. There are a few (okay, mainly just one) other considerations this time that make the whole thing very surreal.
Sometimes I just want to escape. I think that's why I always talk about spontaneity. And on that note, tomorrow I am very un-spontaneously planning to carry out my DLS. :-)
