In 56 days the entire draft of my thesis is due. In 75 days all decisions (assuming I receive any acceptance letters between now and then) to graduate schools are due. In 80 days, I will be defending my thesis in front of a panel that includes the chair of the Classics department from Columbia University. In 106 days (I think) I will graduate from college. In 148 days, I'm going to marry Samuel Callison Cole.
I don't really feel ready for any of this. Except the last one. :-) Love story to follow when I have time to write it.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
On Work Ethics
If I didn't have papers to write, I would never get anything else done. :-) Fortunately, the prudent professors at Baylor are more than happy to see to it that my productivity levels in all other areas of my life remain high by assigning plenty of these. Right now I am *working* on my term paper for History of Modern European Philosophy class. And also updating, to let y'all know what's "new and exciting in my life" as Sara always demands.
There isn't much going on in my life besides school, really. When I'm not in class or doing homework, I help other people with their homework as a part-time job or teach at Sylvan Learning Center.
That can't be true. Dad came up to visit last weekend to see the Baylor vs. A&M game. I didn't go to the game, but I had lunch with him and Brian and David. It's kind of a shame that I didn't go to the game, though, because this is the first time we have won against the aggies since I started at Baylor, and the last time we will play them before I graduate. I stayed at the dorm because I was going to work on my thesis, although really all I did was sleep all afternoon because I was starting to get sick.
And...before that, Sam had a friend come to town so we made dinner and went to see Quantum of Solace. Boys are good people, they really are, but I don't think I will every learn to properly enjoy action movies. I didn't hate it, but it was probably kind of wasted on me. After the movie we had to go out and celebrate because Sam's roommate got into med school. It's really nice to know people who are achieving things, so that you have an excuse to celebrate while you're still waiting on your own achievements to materialize.
And...after that, Sam and I taught Sunday school at church. It is suprising how intimidating a group of small children can be if you realize you're supposed to teach them something. But it was a lot of fun and I think it went as well as could be expected. Then we went to lunch at someone's house with a big group of people, because the church was doing a meal-in-peoples'-homes thing. It's a nice tradition, really. I love the South.
We're reading Nietzche now in Existentialism. My Intro to Philosophy course ended with Nietzche, and my History of Modern European Philosophy course seems like it's going to end with Nietzche. It's kind of strange, especially at a place like Baylor, that we seem to let him have the final word so often. But I think probably it's really good to end with Nietzche, because it's hard to forget him, so I suppose it makes it impossible to stop thinking about philosophy entirely, even after you take the final. I think he's probably one of my favorite atheists.
It's strange to imagine that a week from today it will already be Thanksgiving Break and Sam and I will be driving to New Mexico for part I of the holiday. It's even stranger to be grown-up enough to have Thanksgiving in parts. And 30 days from now, the entire semester will be over: all the papers written, (hopefully) revised, and turned in; the exams studied for and taken, the applications (again, hopefully) completed, the degree audit with that "magic sentence" turned in.
It's good to remember that once in a while. My goal for the rest of the semester is no longer to make good grades but just to get all the work done. With that said, I should probably get back to it.
There isn't much going on in my life besides school, really. When I'm not in class or doing homework, I help other people with their homework as a part-time job or teach at Sylvan Learning Center.
That can't be true. Dad came up to visit last weekend to see the Baylor vs. A&M game. I didn't go to the game, but I had lunch with him and Brian and David. It's kind of a shame that I didn't go to the game, though, because this is the first time we have won against the aggies since I started at Baylor, and the last time we will play them before I graduate. I stayed at the dorm because I was going to work on my thesis, although really all I did was sleep all afternoon because I was starting to get sick.
And...before that, Sam had a friend come to town so we made dinner and went to see Quantum of Solace. Boys are good people, they really are, but I don't think I will every learn to properly enjoy action movies. I didn't hate it, but it was probably kind of wasted on me. After the movie we had to go out and celebrate because Sam's roommate got into med school. It's really nice to know people who are achieving things, so that you have an excuse to celebrate while you're still waiting on your own achievements to materialize.
And...after that, Sam and I taught Sunday school at church. It is suprising how intimidating a group of small children can be if you realize you're supposed to teach them something. But it was a lot of fun and I think it went as well as could be expected. Then we went to lunch at someone's house with a big group of people, because the church was doing a meal-in-peoples'-homes thing. It's a nice tradition, really. I love the South.
We're reading Nietzche now in Existentialism. My Intro to Philosophy course ended with Nietzche, and my History of Modern European Philosophy course seems like it's going to end with Nietzche. It's kind of strange, especially at a place like Baylor, that we seem to let him have the final word so often. But I think probably it's really good to end with Nietzche, because it's hard to forget him, so I suppose it makes it impossible to stop thinking about philosophy entirely, even after you take the final. I think he's probably one of my favorite atheists.
It's strange to imagine that a week from today it will already be Thanksgiving Break and Sam and I will be driving to New Mexico for part I of the holiday. It's even stranger to be grown-up enough to have Thanksgiving in parts. And 30 days from now, the entire semester will be over: all the papers written, (hopefully) revised, and turned in; the exams studied for and taken, the applications (again, hopefully) completed, the degree audit with that "magic sentence" turned in.
It's good to remember that once in a while. My goal for the rest of the semester is no longer to make good grades but just to get all the work done. With that said, I should probably get back to it.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Oh, it is love. . . and November!
History repeats itself. I am now supposed to be writing another 9-10 page paper for my Augustine class, and finding sweet procrastination in you, O blog.
This month is going to be ridiculously busy, and ridiculously wonderful. I have grad school applications, personal statement to write, about 5 (?) 10-page papers, my 2nd thesis chapter to write and 1st chapter to make longer and prettier, THANKSGIVING in about 4 places (Clovis, Ft. Sumner, Waco, Victoria - yup, 4), as well as the work for my Greek honors contract due and of course, lovely exams, hundreds of lines of Virgil to translate, reading till my eyes start to cross...and probably dozens of my favorite people to spend time with. :-)
Disturbing story time! A little kid at the Halloween party that our church put on was dressed up as a member of the KKK!!! He came up to pick out some ducks from the little wading pool and get some candy and I think I said something like "awww, what a cute little ghost - oh, wait!" It was definitely scary.
The good news to cheer you up at the beginning of this month:
1. As of Tuesday, the election will be over, and hopefully after a few weeks people will stop being ridiculous about it! Hurray!
2. THANKSGIVING is only about three weeks away!
3. Thanks to our sad lil' economy, gas prices have plummeted.
4. It's beginning to look like a lot like autumn, and coffee houses everywhere are turning out warm and cozy flavors!
5. Apparently, I'm a huge slacker, and this usually makes people feel better about themselves. So be comforted, over-achievers! There are achievers everywhere who look up to you without the slightest bit of envy. ;-)
This month is going to be ridiculously busy, and ridiculously wonderful. I have grad school applications, personal statement to write, about 5 (?) 10-page papers, my 2nd thesis chapter to write and 1st chapter to make longer and prettier, THANKSGIVING in about 4 places (Clovis, Ft. Sumner, Waco, Victoria - yup, 4), as well as the work for my Greek honors contract due and of course, lovely exams, hundreds of lines of Virgil to translate, reading till my eyes start to cross...and probably dozens of my favorite people to spend time with. :-)
Disturbing story time! A little kid at the Halloween party that our church put on was dressed up as a member of the KKK!!! He came up to pick out some ducks from the little wading pool and get some candy and I think I said something like "awww, what a cute little ghost - oh, wait!" It was definitely scary.
The good news to cheer you up at the beginning of this month:
1. As of Tuesday, the election will be over, and hopefully after a few weeks people will stop being ridiculous about it! Hurray!
2. THANKSGIVING is only about three weeks away!
3. Thanks to our sad lil' economy, gas prices have plummeted.
4. It's beginning to look like a lot like autumn, and coffee houses everywhere are turning out warm and cozy flavors!
5. Apparently, I'm a huge slacker, and this usually makes people feel better about themselves. So be comforted, over-achievers! There are achievers everywhere who look up to you without the slightest bit of envy. ;-)
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Another lovely weekend
Skipping class, feeling good about taking a very stressful exam, reading a novel (the French don't suck at literature after all - after reading so much atheistic existentialism, I thought for a while they might ought to just stay in the kitchen where they belong, but after reading Marcel and Mauriac, I've decided that they are welcome in the library as well*) all afternoon, Crane Scholar's dinner - during which I decided that it may actually be possible to be a good mother and an academic, not that this is important information for me personally, going to a cocktail party for a new friend's birthday, reading aloud with someone, sleeping, tutoring, having lunch with my wonderful roommate, researching for a 10-page paper due Tuesday for my Augustine class, babysitting the most hyper 3-year-old I've ever met, taking him to a suprisingly entertaining children's museum, reading for Existentialism on top of a wooden red fire truck so that he can play while someone and I study, wearing one of my little black dresses that doesn't get out much, having dinner out with someone, drinking cappucino and reading the paper over someone's shoulder, putting off actual paper writing in order to share these recent happy memories with my dear blog-readers.
I love my life so much I have to list it all, which is probably not very interesting, so here's an embarrasing grocery-store moment to make you groan with sympathy for me. I was at HEB, looking for those little tiny cartons of ice cream that come with their own spoon/shovel-like utensils, and out of the corner of my eye I saw two people whom I thought were college-age guys. I'm not conceited but it didn't seem totally unnatural when one talked to me and said "see anything you like?" Guys that age are just friendly, so I said, "oh, no, I can't find the little cute ice creams." And we talked about the relative merits of the pint-sized cartons, which are much bigger than I wanted. At this point I looked up and noticed that one of the "guys" was actually a middle-aged man - the one that was talking, and presumably he was the other one's father, since it's parents' weekend. I walked away thinking it was odd, and several minutes later I realized the guy probably wasn't even talking to me to begin with, but he was probably talking to his son. It's weird how awkward I felt! I just had a conversation with someone who probably thought I was the most self-absorbed person ever. This is what happens when you speak very audibly in the presence of someone absorbed in that most perplexing task of choosing ice cream.
*This was a joke and I have nothing against French people. I have a great-something-grandmother who was from Alsace-Lorraine, held alternately by Germany and France, so there is a very good possibility that I am French myself.
I love my life so much I have to list it all, which is probably not very interesting, so here's an embarrasing grocery-store moment to make you groan with sympathy for me. I was at HEB, looking for those little tiny cartons of ice cream that come with their own spoon/shovel-like utensils, and out of the corner of my eye I saw two people whom I thought were college-age guys. I'm not conceited but it didn't seem totally unnatural when one talked to me and said "see anything you like?" Guys that age are just friendly, so I said, "oh, no, I can't find the little cute ice creams." And we talked about the relative merits of the pint-sized cartons, which are much bigger than I wanted. At this point I looked up and noticed that one of the "guys" was actually a middle-aged man - the one that was talking, and presumably he was the other one's father, since it's parents' weekend. I walked away thinking it was odd, and several minutes later I realized the guy probably wasn't even talking to me to begin with, but he was probably talking to his son. It's weird how awkward I felt! I just had a conversation with someone who probably thought I was the most self-absorbed person ever. This is what happens when you speak very audibly in the presence of someone absorbed in that most perplexing task of choosing ice cream.
*This was a joke and I have nothing against French people. I have a great-something-grandmother who was from Alsace-Lorraine, held alternately by Germany and France, so there is a very good possibility that I am French myself.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Christmas in September
I'm going to a tea party today. It' s a "High Tea" for the Honors' Residential College. At least we don't have to wear our hideous polo shirts; we just have to dress up and shake rich people's hands so that they will know that the students for whom they donate money have learned to dress themselves. I wonder what they donate money for? More tea parties? I shouldn't be so cynical, I know, but all these new events and such that have been added to the living-in-the-dorm experience make me want to re-think what's important to me. I imagine that there is some point to all of this but I certainly don't see it.
I love social things. At least I think I love social things. I am not, in any sense, an extrovert, but I do love people, and I seem to feel the need for "alone" time decreasingly often. (How do you say "decreasingly often" gracefully? "less and less frequently?" "more and more seldom?") I just hate standing around and making small talk. It seems so pointless.
I categorically hate politics. I hate the process you have to go through in order to get into grad school, of having "connections," meeting people just so that they will remember you, whetehr or not you demonstrated anything worth knowing about yourself in that 30 second window of time, asking questions you aren't really curious about in order to appear interested in studying with someone. As if that weren't obvious, if you are applying for the program. It all seems so little based on actual merit. And the same seems true (maybe more true) of the election. It's depressing.
Like secular existentialism. Sartre wrote an essay in which he tried to portray existentialism as a humanism. Who is he kidding? At least Camus is honest about how much the world sucks if he is right. Someone in my Latin class, who is generally a very earnest intellectual about everything, said that she simply hates modernity. I think that's a funny thing to say, but I have to admit that I'm not as patient with it as some people are, and I think the deficiency is mine. I'm glad I'm a Classics major.
I won't tell you what my Christmas present to myself is, since it ought to be kept secret from someone until Christmas, but I bet you can guess what color it is. ;-)
I love social things. At least I think I love social things. I am not, in any sense, an extrovert, but I do love people, and I seem to feel the need for "alone" time decreasingly often. (How do you say "decreasingly often" gracefully? "less and less frequently?" "more and more seldom?") I just hate standing around and making small talk. It seems so pointless.
I categorically hate politics. I hate the process you have to go through in order to get into grad school, of having "connections," meeting people just so that they will remember you, whetehr or not you demonstrated anything worth knowing about yourself in that 30 second window of time, asking questions you aren't really curious about in order to appear interested in studying with someone. As if that weren't obvious, if you are applying for the program. It all seems so little based on actual merit. And the same seems true (maybe more true) of the election. It's depressing.
Like secular existentialism. Sartre wrote an essay in which he tried to portray existentialism as a humanism. Who is he kidding? At least Camus is honest about how much the world sucks if he is right. Someone in my Latin class, who is generally a very earnest intellectual about everything, said that she simply hates modernity. I think that's a funny thing to say, but I have to admit that I'm not as patient with it as some people are, and I think the deficiency is mine. I'm glad I'm a Classics major.
I won't tell you what my Christmas present to myself is, since it ought to be kept secret from someone until Christmas, but I bet you can guess what color it is. ;-)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Don't look at me that way - it was an honest mistake.
It doesn't feel like taking God's name in vain when I say "oh, Dio mio!" partly because it's Italian, and partly I don't think I'm doing it in vain. Addressing God with an exclamation seems like a natural response to what's happening in my life right now.
Summer has been wonderful. I've been working at Texas Roadhouse, which sucks but everything else has been kind of perfect. Except for predictable dissapointments, like the fact that I didn't get as much done as I wanted to on Greek composition and research for my thesis. (But I still have about a week and a half left, right?) I've also been tutoring Latin, making new friends and generally having the time of my life, as is becoming a habit, it seems.
It's just so odd. To be a senior in college, talking about grad school options as if I had a clue what I'm doing or as if I actually believe I'm ready to be that grown-up - to move out of state permanently, to pay my own phone bill, to be completely independent financially, to have a degree, to survive grad school and "pick up" somewhere or other a couple of the modern languages requisite for good scholarship in Classics, eventually to become a "doctor." I took the GRE and while I'm a little bit dissapointed with my Verbal score, overall it didn't completely suck and I may have a chance at getting what I want - which is to study and travel all my life as I have been these past few years and maybe, you know, to have babies (not children and definitely not teenagers, but maybe a couple of babies).
But holy crap. When did the joy of independence in a part-time job and a driver's permit get replaced with this? With writing samples and statements of purpose - as if I had a statement to make about purpose (I'm not Rick Warren, thank you) - and real decisions about where I want to live. It sounds like the college application process all over again, but it's so much more stressful this time. There are a few (okay, mainly just one) other considerations this time that make the whole thing very surreal.
Sometimes I just want to escape. I think that's why I always talk about spontaneity. And on that note, tomorrow I am very un-spontaneously planning to carry out my DLS. :-)
Summer has been wonderful. I've been working at Texas Roadhouse, which sucks but everything else has been kind of perfect. Except for predictable dissapointments, like the fact that I didn't get as much done as I wanted to on Greek composition and research for my thesis. (But I still have about a week and a half left, right?) I've also been tutoring Latin, making new friends and generally having the time of my life, as is becoming a habit, it seems.
It's just so odd. To be a senior in college, talking about grad school options as if I had a clue what I'm doing or as if I actually believe I'm ready to be that grown-up - to move out of state permanently, to pay my own phone bill, to be completely independent financially, to have a degree, to survive grad school and "pick up" somewhere or other a couple of the modern languages requisite for good scholarship in Classics, eventually to become a "doctor." I took the GRE and while I'm a little bit dissapointed with my Verbal score, overall it didn't completely suck and I may have a chance at getting what I want - which is to study and travel all my life as I have been these past few years and maybe, you know, to have babies (not children and definitely not teenagers, but maybe a couple of babies).
But holy crap. When did the joy of independence in a part-time job and a driver's permit get replaced with this? With writing samples and statements of purpose - as if I had a statement to make about purpose (I'm not Rick Warren, thank you) - and real decisions about where I want to live. It sounds like the college application process all over again, but it's so much more stressful this time. There are a few (okay, mainly just one) other considerations this time that make the whole thing very surreal.
Sometimes I just want to escape. I think that's why I always talk about spontaneity. And on that note, tomorrow I am very un-spontaneously planning to carry out my DLS. :-)
Monday, June 30, 2008
Gag me with a teaspoon
Can I just say that Java City has the most horrible coffee in the world? Every time I go there, when I'm here at the library, I end up wondering why in the world I spent $3.66 on this crap, which it should be illegal to give away. If I wanted a lukewarm syrupy mess, I would go suck a maple tree on a nice day.
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