For one of my Greek classes we are doing a huge metrical analysis project that involves frequency charts of dactyl/spondee rhythms and some other things. I think I like rhythm. I like the idea of predictable variation (which, incidentally, is not exactly what you get from Apollonius of Rhodes' Argonautica).
I almost like that at the end of every semester of grad school and college since I decided what to major in, I've gone through a sudden period of questioning everything about my decisions. Right around the time I start panicking about term papers and finals, I start wondering if academics is really "my thing," if maybe I would do better in a different discipline, if I should have taken time off between college and grad school to get practical work experience, or if I really just need to get started on having babies (you knew that one was coming). My current idea is that maybe I've lived my whole life based on a false dichotomy in which I think of myself as smart but not athletic, when really, it's the other way around, and I should be looking into a field that requires more manual than mental labor. I could be the most un-creepy construction worker ever.
It's good that semesters are rhythmical, because I know that these sort of thoughts are coming, so I can take care to disregard them when they do come.
Marriage is rhythmical. It fluctuates fairly predictably between the "I'm so lucky and ridiculously happy that everything is really funny all the time" part (95%) to the part where God teaches things like patience and unconditional love and shows you some of the parts of yourself it's more comfortable to forget about (5%).
I think the idea of a week is brilliant. Mondays you try to get stuff done, because you are super-motivated. Tuesdays you give up, and do laundry, because it's free soap day at the laundromat. Wednesdays you panic, and actually do a little work. Thursdays you are so busy all day you forget to be productive. On Fridays, it doesn't matter what happens, because it's Friday, which is cleaning day and therefore the best day, and anyway you can live through anything till your husband gets home. Saturdays are the wild card, and on Sundays you reward yourself for all those good intentions and get ready for another round.
And seasons are actually not at all overrated.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
What I actually learned during finals week,
when I was studying all that Homer, Vergil, and Lucretius.
1) They stopped putting caffiene in Monster engery drinks. I don't know when they did it, because in undergrad, I remember it being there, but Monster energy drinks no longer make me bounce off the wall.
2) Nobody really understands Vergil's Georgics. Nobody.
3) We Classicists make up a lot of things. Like the term, "didactic poetry."
4) When someone asks you a question you don't know how to answer, the best thing to say is, "I think it has something to do with the moon and the tides." This is a surprisingly versatile answer.
5) Starbucks' cinnamon coffee cake is really, really good. Almost makes up for the fact that all I ate that week besides Starbucks coffee cake was pizza, Chinese take-out, and Subway.
6) Washing dishes is fun! Compared to thumping my head against the wall trying to figure out how to write my term paper.
On an unrelated note, here's a little something for all the single ladies out there: a picture of post-marital laundry. Enjoy!
1) They stopped putting caffiene in Monster engery drinks. I don't know when they did it, because in undergrad, I remember it being there, but Monster energy drinks no longer make me bounce off the wall.
2) Nobody really understands Vergil's Georgics. Nobody.
3) We Classicists make up a lot of things. Like the term, "didactic poetry."
4) When someone asks you a question you don't know how to answer, the best thing to say is, "I think it has something to do with the moon and the tides." This is a surprisingly versatile answer.
5) Starbucks' cinnamon coffee cake is really, really good. Almost makes up for the fact that all I ate that week besides Starbucks coffee cake was pizza, Chinese take-out, and Subway.
6) Washing dishes is fun! Compared to thumping my head against the wall trying to figure out how to write my term paper.
On an unrelated note, here's a little something for all the single ladies out there: a picture of post-marital laundry. Enjoy!
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Whole New Life
The title of this post is meant sarcastically. I've deleted my Facebook account, so this blog will probably get more attention. I will dedicate this blog post to happy things, because I've been thinking about unhappy things lately, and need to get them out of my head.
1) I've been ridiculously distracted by with shopping lately (probably to make up for the fact that Facebook can't distract me anymore). Especially for adorable dresses. I have a crazy affinity for cute dresses right now. Which makes very little sense, considering there are so few events in my life that call for adorable dresses. New York is not actually that glamorous when you live in it day to day. I think this affinity may harken back to a time exactly one year ago, when I was getting ready for the many, many events leading up to my wedding that required dresses. Also, as I mentioned, I haven't gained the Newlywed Nine, and have actually lost five, so that might have something to do with it. I'm getting good at finding dresses I really like and then finding them on sale somewhere online. My new favorite brands are BB Dakota and Max and Cleo. I told Sam a few minutes ago that I had found 100 dresses that I wanted very badly. I bought 3 of them today.
2) I'm getting tired of cooking the same things and have resolved to try at least one new recipe every week. This week I tweaked a new recipe for grilled salmon and made lemon pasta with roasted shrimp. Sam liked both a lot.
3) My precious baby brother turns five years old today. The picture of him and me is from two years ago. I sent him a big stuffed tiger for the occasion, which he named "Tika Tiger," and then just "Tiger," and he tells mom that "there is a beast in the house!" Stephanie got him a fish that sucks that algae from the side of his fishtank, and he named it "Algae-Sucker." He is the sweetest little boy in the world. As a toddler he used to insist on hugging all the stuffed animals by turn when he saw them sitting on the shelf in stores, and now his favorite thing to do is buy the kind of worms people use for fishing bait (with his own money) and then set them free in his backyard. I think he will be a philanthropist of some kind when he grows up. He writes me lots of letters, but I still can't believe he's five years old now.
4) My big presentation in Greek class is done with and now I just need to find a good topic for my Latin term paper so that I can get started over Easter break. That would make the end of my semester less stressful.
5) It is SPRING, finally, and all the wonderful things associated with this blessed season are beginning to happen. The weather has been incredibly refreshing, and Sam and I have started to spend time in Central Park. I've started my Spring cleaning and quite literally dusted off my flip-flops. The flower stands are starting to sell flowers other than roses, and very soon the asparagus you see in the grocery stores won't be brown and wilted. I've had a sort-of Spring break, Easter is coming up, and then my birthday, when I will turn 21 for the 3rd time! I think my third chance at being 21 will be the best yet.
6) My love-hate relationship with this city is growing. Sam and I have decided that off-Broadway plays are much better than Broadway plays. We found out that at the Irish Repetoire Theater they offer $20 tickets to people our age (yes, they know that I'm not really 21) and we saw a play by George Bernard Shaw that was really good. We were in the front row, so close to the acting that when they actors stormed off stage they had to be careful not to hit us.
7) I have an unadulterated love for Philadelphia after visiting it during Sam's and my mini-vacation long weekend "honeymoon" a couple of weeks ago. We got cheap bus tickets and splurged on the Omni hotel, only took a cab once and walked everywhere else because we were in such a great location. We ate at lots of good restaurants, saw a movie and a play, visited lots of historical sites, and even attended the same church that George Washington attended. I seem to like every city I go to instantly except New York, which is unfair for New York, because it's harder here since I have to live in it, but really, I think New York is just overrated. I will probably miss it when I leave, though.
1) I've been ridiculously distracted by with shopping lately (probably to make up for the fact that Facebook can't distract me anymore). Especially for adorable dresses. I have a crazy affinity for cute dresses right now. Which makes very little sense, considering there are so few events in my life that call for adorable dresses. New York is not actually that glamorous when you live in it day to day. I think this affinity may harken back to a time exactly one year ago, when I was getting ready for the many, many events leading up to my wedding that required dresses. Also, as I mentioned, I haven't gained the Newlywed Nine, and have actually lost five, so that might have something to do with it. I'm getting good at finding dresses I really like and then finding them on sale somewhere online. My new favorite brands are BB Dakota and Max and Cleo. I told Sam a few minutes ago that I had found 100 dresses that I wanted very badly. I bought 3 of them today.
2) I'm getting tired of cooking the same things and have resolved to try at least one new recipe every week. This week I tweaked a new recipe for grilled salmon and made lemon pasta with roasted shrimp. Sam liked both a lot.
3) My precious baby brother turns five years old today. The picture of him and me is from two years ago. I sent him a big stuffed tiger for the occasion, which he named "Tika Tiger," and then just "Tiger," and he tells mom that "there is a beast in the house!" Stephanie got him a fish that sucks that algae from the side of his fishtank, and he named it "Algae-Sucker." He is the sweetest little boy in the world. As a toddler he used to insist on hugging all the stuffed animals by turn when he saw them sitting on the shelf in stores, and now his favorite thing to do is buy the kind of worms people use for fishing bait (with his own money) and then set them free in his backyard. I think he will be a philanthropist of some kind when he grows up. He writes me lots of letters, but I still can't believe he's five years old now.
4) My big presentation in Greek class is done with and now I just need to find a good topic for my Latin term paper so that I can get started over Easter break. That would make the end of my semester less stressful.
5) It is SPRING, finally, and all the wonderful things associated with this blessed season are beginning to happen. The weather has been incredibly refreshing, and Sam and I have started to spend time in Central Park. I've started my Spring cleaning and quite literally dusted off my flip-flops. The flower stands are starting to sell flowers other than roses, and very soon the asparagus you see in the grocery stores won't be brown and wilted. I've had a sort-of Spring break, Easter is coming up, and then my birthday, when I will turn 21 for the 3rd time! I think my third chance at being 21 will be the best yet.
6) My love-hate relationship with this city is growing. Sam and I have decided that off-Broadway plays are much better than Broadway plays. We found out that at the Irish Repetoire Theater they offer $20 tickets to people our age (yes, they know that I'm not really 21) and we saw a play by George Bernard Shaw that was really good. We were in the front row, so close to the acting that when they actors stormed off stage they had to be careful not to hit us.
7) I have an unadulterated love for Philadelphia after visiting it during Sam's and my mini-vacation long weekend "honeymoon" a couple of weeks ago. We got cheap bus tickets and splurged on the Omni hotel, only took a cab once and walked everywhere else because we were in such a great location. We ate at lots of good restaurants, saw a movie and a play, visited lots of historical sites, and even attended the same church that George Washington attended. I seem to like every city I go to instantly except New York, which is unfair for New York, because it's harder here since I have to live in it, but really, I think New York is just overrated. I will probably miss it when I leave, though.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Things that happen to people like me.
I'm only taking two classes this semester, with not quite as intense homework loads as I imagined when I signed up for them, and between that and only working 12 hours a week as a graduate assistant, quite frankly, I have way too much time on my hands, and am by no means making good use of it.
So, in lieu of a blog about what I'm doing, since it seems that I'm doing as little as possible, I'm going to write my first blog with a theme: things that happen to people like me.
1) The Newlywed Nine. This is a thing that happens to people like me. I am very happy to report that it has not happened to me. Similar to the freshman 15 some people gain when they first go to college, the newlywed nine is weight that newlyweds often gain. I saw a statistic somewhere that said that people actually do gain an average of about 7-8 pounds their first year of marriage. Why is this?
2) Imposter Syndrome. This is a thing that happens to lots of people, often women, and often in the academy, and often to grad students. In other words, people like me. To be honest, I have to report that this happens to me all the time. Imposter Syndrome is not an official psycological malady. I didn't know that it was even something that happened to other people until my good friend Sara assured me that I'm not alone. What it means is that a person doesn't believe that he earned his achievements. I think almost everyday that I must have got into grad school because somehow I managed to look better on paper than I am in real life. I never think that I am sufficiently competent for the schoolwork I do, and I'm always pretty sure that my mediocrity will be found out soon and then they'll send me home (wherever that is) and tell me I'm not good enough to be among real academics. On the other hand, I do think I'd make a good housemaid. I'm getting good at cleaning all sorts of different surfaces in my apartment, now that I have so much time.
3) Other things that happen to people like me. We walk past the doors of the classrooms we are supposed to go into, and then have to turn around abruptly a few minutes later when we realize we are walking nowhere. We get on the subway going the wrong direction, don't realize it for a few stops, then get out, walk across the street, and get on the same wrong subway. We go to work and hope that the professors have found something for us to do to make us feel important, so that we do not have to sit in a graduate student office, thinking that it would be a bad idea to get on Facebook right now. We think of answers to questions that come up in class, but refrain from suggesting them because surely someone else would've thought of that if it were correct, then listen while someone else laboriously proposes said answer, which is confirmed. We look around frantically for the book we have just finished copying, only to have another grad student take it out of the copyer and hand it to us. We misplace the cellphone into which we are talking. (Really, one day I was talking to my mom, and told her I had to hang up because I'd lost my phone). Sometimes we eat lunch alone and look so pathetic that they busboys feel sorry for us and decide to flirt with us. Our husbands say things to us like, "Ashley, I don't have time for you to get irritated with me if I'm going to be working out everyday."
Maybe that last one only happens to me. I thought it was the funniest thing Sam ever said. We were almost fighting when he said it but then I had to laugh for about five minutes.
So, in lieu of a blog about what I'm doing, since it seems that I'm doing as little as possible, I'm going to write my first blog with a theme: things that happen to people like me.
1) The Newlywed Nine. This is a thing that happens to people like me. I am very happy to report that it has not happened to me. Similar to the freshman 15 some people gain when they first go to college, the newlywed nine is weight that newlyweds often gain. I saw a statistic somewhere that said that people actually do gain an average of about 7-8 pounds their first year of marriage. Why is this?
2) Imposter Syndrome. This is a thing that happens to lots of people, often women, and often in the academy, and often to grad students. In other words, people like me. To be honest, I have to report that this happens to me all the time. Imposter Syndrome is not an official psycological malady. I didn't know that it was even something that happened to other people until my good friend Sara assured me that I'm not alone. What it means is that a person doesn't believe that he earned his achievements. I think almost everyday that I must have got into grad school because somehow I managed to look better on paper than I am in real life. I never think that I am sufficiently competent for the schoolwork I do, and I'm always pretty sure that my mediocrity will be found out soon and then they'll send me home (wherever that is) and tell me I'm not good enough to be among real academics. On the other hand, I do think I'd make a good housemaid. I'm getting good at cleaning all sorts of different surfaces in my apartment, now that I have so much time.
3) Other things that happen to people like me. We walk past the doors of the classrooms we are supposed to go into, and then have to turn around abruptly a few minutes later when we realize we are walking nowhere. We get on the subway going the wrong direction, don't realize it for a few stops, then get out, walk across the street, and get on the same wrong subway. We go to work and hope that the professors have found something for us to do to make us feel important, so that we do not have to sit in a graduate student office, thinking that it would be a bad idea to get on Facebook right now. We think of answers to questions that come up in class, but refrain from suggesting them because surely someone else would've thought of that if it were correct, then listen while someone else laboriously proposes said answer, which is confirmed. We look around frantically for the book we have just finished copying, only to have another grad student take it out of the copyer and hand it to us. We misplace the cellphone into which we are talking. (Really, one day I was talking to my mom, and told her I had to hang up because I'd lost my phone). Sometimes we eat lunch alone and look so pathetic that they busboys feel sorry for us and decide to flirt with us. Our husbands say things to us like, "Ashley, I don't have time for you to get irritated with me if I'm going to be working out everyday."
Maybe that last one only happens to me. I thought it was the funniest thing Sam ever said. We were almost fighting when he said it but then I had to laugh for about five minutes.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Rambles
I've decided I like Boston better than New York. But New York is okay. Maybe I just like Boston more because I was visiting lots of friends and having fun and in New York I actually have to figure out how to live and work and study.
There are a lot of alarming stories going around about the economy and people in their twenties, which are making me definitely want to stay in school and maybe work a bit harder at it. I guess time's up for wondering what to do with my life; it's time to do something. Americans in general are taking longer than they used to to grow up. But you can't just find a great job easily these days; you have to be competitive. And I want that dog and fireplace and baby someday, and I want money for dogfood and firewood and swingsets, so I'm going to try getting a degree that will possibly land me a decent job. The good thing about jobs as professors is that if you get tenure, you've got a decent salary and amazing job security. The bad thing is, tenure-track positions are difficult to get and so is tenure.
I wasn't really ever considering dropping out, anyway; I've just realized how little choice I really have. Anyway I'll probably enjoy it more if I work harder at it. And I didn't choose all the best classes this semester, but I will for next semester.
Midterms are over, thank goodness! Except for French, which does not at all worry me. I haven't got my grades back from the midterms so I'm still anxious about that but at least I can move on to think about other things.
Inspired by H and her pretty apartment, I am looking into making small upgrades on the cuteness of mine. We got a new couch, and although it is smaller and less comfy that the old one, I think it's much cuter, and there's no need for a slipcover that must be constantly re-adjusted, and anyway I think a smaller couch fits my small living room better. They always say it's important to have your furniture be to scale. I've found some pretty red vases to go in the living room, and I'm going to add some picture frames that match the ones I have and put pictures of my family and Sam's from the wedding in them, and Sam doesn't necessarily know this, but we're definitely getting a nice-looking chair to go with the couch, and I've found that cinnamon sticks make a great natural potpourri.
Poor Sam. Yesterday before our date night I dragged him through Bed, Bath and Beyond, Gracious Home and Pottery Barn. We're headed to Ikea next weekend, even though it's all the way down in Brooklyn. I've actually never been to Brooklyn before. I've been to Queens, but only accidentally when I took a subway train in the wrong direction.
We had Sunday brunch today, which seems like a very New York thing to do. I've definitely perfected my french toast recipe, and we've decided to make it a Christmas morning tradition. We booked our tickets to go back to Texas for Christmas. To save money, we're flying on Christmas afternoon and flying back New Year's Day.
I'm always looking for recipes of the cheap/healthy/quick/tasty persuasion, so if you have any that meet any of these qualifications, please share. I especially like things I can prepare ahead of time and cook at the last minute, so that I can cook ahead on weekends.
Why do weekends end so quickly? I'm not ready for another week, and I'm especially not ready to start thinking about term papers.
There are a lot of alarming stories going around about the economy and people in their twenties, which are making me definitely want to stay in school and maybe work a bit harder at it. I guess time's up for wondering what to do with my life; it's time to do something. Americans in general are taking longer than they used to to grow up. But you can't just find a great job easily these days; you have to be competitive. And I want that dog and fireplace and baby someday, and I want money for dogfood and firewood and swingsets, so I'm going to try getting a degree that will possibly land me a decent job. The good thing about jobs as professors is that if you get tenure, you've got a decent salary and amazing job security. The bad thing is, tenure-track positions are difficult to get and so is tenure.
I wasn't really ever considering dropping out, anyway; I've just realized how little choice I really have. Anyway I'll probably enjoy it more if I work harder at it. And I didn't choose all the best classes this semester, but I will for next semester.
Midterms are over, thank goodness! Except for French, which does not at all worry me. I haven't got my grades back from the midterms so I'm still anxious about that but at least I can move on to think about other things.
Inspired by H and her pretty apartment, I am looking into making small upgrades on the cuteness of mine. We got a new couch, and although it is smaller and less comfy that the old one, I think it's much cuter, and there's no need for a slipcover that must be constantly re-adjusted, and anyway I think a smaller couch fits my small living room better. They always say it's important to have your furniture be to scale. I've found some pretty red vases to go in the living room, and I'm going to add some picture frames that match the ones I have and put pictures of my family and Sam's from the wedding in them, and Sam doesn't necessarily know this, but we're definitely getting a nice-looking chair to go with the couch, and I've found that cinnamon sticks make a great natural potpourri.
Poor Sam. Yesterday before our date night I dragged him through Bed, Bath and Beyond, Gracious Home and Pottery Barn. We're headed to Ikea next weekend, even though it's all the way down in Brooklyn. I've actually never been to Brooklyn before. I've been to Queens, but only accidentally when I took a subway train in the wrong direction.
We had Sunday brunch today, which seems like a very New York thing to do. I've definitely perfected my french toast recipe, and we've decided to make it a Christmas morning tradition. We booked our tickets to go back to Texas for Christmas. To save money, we're flying on Christmas afternoon and flying back New Year's Day.
I'm always looking for recipes of the cheap/healthy/quick/tasty persuasion, so if you have any that meet any of these qualifications, please share. I especially like things I can prepare ahead of time and cook at the last minute, so that I can cook ahead on weekends.
Why do weekends end so quickly? I'm not ready for another week, and I'm especially not ready to start thinking about term papers.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Another Tuesday has finally ended
Tuesdays have been my least favorite day for a while now. Yesterday was one of those Tuesdays where nothing I tried to do seemed to work out. And the buses and subways were particularly irrational. I tried a different route for my Tuesday commute after hearing about a crime comitted at one of my subway stops at the exact time that I'm usually there (only it was a Sunday, not a Tuesday). So I ended up on a bus, which I had been on before, and it should've stopped right outside the gate of the campus, but it didn't - it kept going. That is the worst feeling in the world, to be on a crowded bus that has just passed your stop. Fortunately it stopped probably less that 1/4 mile away, so it wasn't a big deal. And then I called Sam to have him meet me at the subway stop that the bus took me to so that we could right home together and I wouldn't have to wait at the stop alone, but he had to wait 1/2 for the subway to get there and I did have to wait alone, although I wouldn't have had to if I hadn't called him, because the train got there right when I did.
You just can't beat this city. You just have to accept it. Which I can usually do, except after such a long day as yesterday was. Suddenly I've got a lot of work to do for my assistantship. In addition to cataloging books and helping another professor with lots of different projects, I'm going to be holding review sessions once a week for a beginning Latin class and office hours for a Greek class. Two weeks from today I have my first midterm, and two weeks from tomorrow I have a midterm and a presentation in the same class.
So it's not really getting cold in New York, but the other day the apartment apparently decided it was cold enough for the heater to turn on. Our heat is included in our rent so we don't really pay for it (at least not separately) and we also don't, apparently, control it. There are two strange-looking contraptions, one in the living room and one in the bedroom, which, come to find out, are called radiators. I maybe knew this a long time ago before I moved to Texas, where turning on the heater really just means turning off the air conditioner.
Anyway, these heaters naturally deemed it appropriate for themselves to turn on one late night when Sam was gone and I was tired from class. They did so with very strange noises coming from the bedroom, and I, ever-paranoid about burlaries even when they are physically impossible, went to see what was happening there. There were strange hissing noises coming from the white thing in the corner that sounded rather sinister. My first thought was, "oh my gosh, it's a gas leak, and I'm going to die." I've heard about gas leaks and I've seen the people in movies who turn on their gas stoves to commite suicide, and then think better of it. (I don't usually watch movies in which people think of suicide without thinking better of it). Then I thought, "no, don't be ridiculous, it's just noisy because this is the first time it's come on this winter." So I went back to the living room.
Usually at night I get unreasonably hyper after feeling sleepy all day, but that night I felt ridiculously drowsy. This worried me, because I was pretty sure drowsiness was one of the symptoms of dying from inhaling gas. So I thought, "maybe I should call my parents." But I didn't want to sound silly so I put off calling them until it occured to me, that if I were to die, it might look like a suicide, unless I called someone.
They said it was fine but I opened a window for ventilation, just in case.
You just can't beat this city. You just have to accept it. Which I can usually do, except after such a long day as yesterday was. Suddenly I've got a lot of work to do for my assistantship. In addition to cataloging books and helping another professor with lots of different projects, I'm going to be holding review sessions once a week for a beginning Latin class and office hours for a Greek class. Two weeks from today I have my first midterm, and two weeks from tomorrow I have a midterm and a presentation in the same class.
So it's not really getting cold in New York, but the other day the apartment apparently decided it was cold enough for the heater to turn on. Our heat is included in our rent so we don't really pay for it (at least not separately) and we also don't, apparently, control it. There are two strange-looking contraptions, one in the living room and one in the bedroom, which, come to find out, are called radiators. I maybe knew this a long time ago before I moved to Texas, where turning on the heater really just means turning off the air conditioner.
Anyway, these heaters naturally deemed it appropriate for themselves to turn on one late night when Sam was gone and I was tired from class. They did so with very strange noises coming from the bedroom, and I, ever-paranoid about burlaries even when they are physically impossible, went to see what was happening there. There were strange hissing noises coming from the white thing in the corner that sounded rather sinister. My first thought was, "oh my gosh, it's a gas leak, and I'm going to die." I've heard about gas leaks and I've seen the people in movies who turn on their gas stoves to commite suicide, and then think better of it. (I don't usually watch movies in which people think of suicide without thinking better of it). Then I thought, "no, don't be ridiculous, it's just noisy because this is the first time it's come on this winter." So I went back to the living room.
Usually at night I get unreasonably hyper after feeling sleepy all day, but that night I felt ridiculously drowsy. This worried me, because I was pretty sure drowsiness was one of the symptoms of dying from inhaling gas. So I thought, "maybe I should call my parents." But I didn't want to sound silly so I put off calling them until it occured to me, that if I were to die, it might look like a suicide, unless I called someone.
They said it was fine but I opened a window for ventilation, just in case.
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